Tag Archives: rikki ferrier

I love you

“I love you”

by Rikki Ferrier

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So, Valentines Day is 3 weeks away. If you’re single, you’re probably acutely aware of this, and if you’re in a relationship, this might be your reminder to start preparing those goods!

Love

 

This holiday is all about love, right? Love love love! I hear and see so many posts about love, relationships, etc. but I’m going to challenge our cultures precept of love, and offer an ideology that may be new to many.

love must be true

For those who know me personally, they know that love is something I take so very seriously. Love is many things, and love entails many emotions; good and bad, but of all of these, one things stands out the strongest to me: Love is unconditional.

puppy love

In our culture today, you can’t get on a social media site, such as Instagram or Facebook, without seeing posts about “Do what makes YOU happy”, “Those who love you will never try and change you”, “If they’re not meeting your needs, walk away. You’ll find someone better!”, or surprisingly even, “When they hurt you, just hurt them worse!”etc. Sure these are comforting sometimes, and it can be nice to lean on a cliche to validate your inward desires, but these aren’t the truth. These are not love.  This love is all about pleasing oneself, but a relationship is not for YOU. Love is about what you can give, not what you can get.

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Our culture teaches conditional love. They teach that the moment  someone is no longer making you “happy,” or pleasing you, or meeting your needs, then it’s okay to withdraw your love from them, give them a taste of their own medicine, and pay back wrong for wrong, because that’d be doing what’s fair, right? I mean, they deserve it for the way they acted or for the way they treated you, right??? They hurt you, so you’re going to hurt them BACK! They were rude, hurtful, disrespectful, mean, greedy, inconsiderate, etc, so they had it comin’!! Yeah?

angry owl

gif-kitten-animals-fighting-916327Animals fighting2

Well, maybe I’m going to burst your bubble here, but that’s wrong on so many levels. That, my friend, is NOT love in its totality. That is basing love off of strictly emotions alone. You show love when you feel it, and you withdraw it when you stop feeling it; however, this is exceedingly flawed. Love is not just your emotions; emotions are fickle and always changing, but Love is consistent; Love is an action.

love-is-a-verb-action

Love is NOT conditional. If you love someone, truly love (because we’re all about that “true love,” right?), then nothing they do can cause you to remove your love towards them.

true love

When I say nothing, I mean nothing. There is NOTHING someone you love can do, to cause you to remove that love from them. That doesn’t mean the feeling of love is always there, because I promise you, that it won’t be, but what real love is, is how you act once that feeling is gone. What do you do, and how do you react, the moment you’re no longer feeling that love? Because that’s what will tell you if your love is true or if your love is selfish.

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So, I’ve said several times that love is an action, and love is shown by the actions you display after the feeling is absent, but what is this action? What IS the actions of love? Well, I’m so glad you asked!

Happy cat2Let’s break it down.

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I think people have heard the famous “Love Verse” by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, right? I think we’ve heard it so many times, that perhaps we’ve become numb to what it’s actually saying, so I’m going to write it in the inverse in hopes of seeing it in a new perspective, as this helped me so much. 

Love is never impatient. Love is never mean. Love is content with what it has. Love is modest about its successes. Love is humble, and doesn’t get lost in its pride. Love encourages others. Love hurts itself before it hurts another. Love is not easily angered. Love forgets the mistakes of others. Love delights in good. Love doesn’t lie. Love never hurts one another. Love doesn’t distrust. Love isn’t pessimistic. Love doesn’t give up. Love will always succeed.

Now the original.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not proud.  Love does not dishonor others. Love is not self-seeking. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil. Love rejoices with the truth. Love always protects. Love always trusts. Love always hopes. Love always perseveres. Love never fails.

I’m sure every one of us is guilty of every single one of these, so I don’t share this to condemn anyone, or to say that I’ve mastered this, because I most definitely haven’t. I share this because this is the goal. This is what to strive for, not worldly love which is conditional. We don’t strive to be the norm, or to have what the normal have, which is worldly love, but we strive for something different, something pure and true; Love.

“If you want what everyone has, do what everyone does. If you want what few have, do what few do.” -Craig Groeschel

Paul never, ever writes what an individual has to do in order to receive this love, or what credentials they must meet to be given this type of love. THIS IS what you do when you love someone.  THIS IS LOVE. If you tell someone that you love them, and you’re not doing these things, no matter what they’ve done to you first, then you’re not acting in true love. We’ve all failed in this, but when you notice you’ve withdrawn your love, then apologize, and ask for forgiveness, and strive to do better next time.

true love

“If you want what you’ve always had, do what you’ve always done. If you want what you’ve never had, do what you’ve never done.” -Craig Groeschel

I hope this was helpful to someone. I share this because it’s something I believe so deeply, and it’s something I try so hard to meet daily. I fail, I fall, and I drop the ball, but dang it, I get back up, dust off the dirt, and I adjust to improve.

 Love2


DISCLAIMER: I’m explaining how love is, and I’m sharing that love is consistent and no matter what someone does to you, you should always treat them with love, but this does not mean that love is stupid. If someone who you love, and someone who “loves” you back, continues to show you conditional love and mistreatment, and constantly withdraws their love from you, then you must be wise and adjust your future accordingly, which may not include them in it, but that doesn’t mean you stop being kind and loving to them. Removing someone from your life is not showing someone a lack of love, sometimes that’s just wisdom. But how you treat them when you part ways can still be expressed in a loving way.


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Quality vs Quantity in Calories!!!

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I’m sure you’ve heard that a calorie is a calorie and all are created equal, right?
 Hmm…well I hate to burst your little blind-bubble, but that is a LIE!!!!!!! 

Calories are NOT all created equal! It’s about quality, not just quantity! Yes, the amount of calories you eat is important too, but that’s not the main focus!

Yeah yeah, I know that’s a twist in what you’ve always been taught, but let’s talk proof here.

So…for example, let’s take 2 people who are eating 1600 calories a day. Person A eats 1600 calories worth of wholesome food such as apples, greens, oats, chicken, etc. while Person B eats 1600 calories worth of Snickers! They’re both eating 1600 calories right? Well… is there outcome going to be the same? 

Don’t think too hard now…
The answer is NO! I’m not even going to touch on the health of Person B, let’s just look at this from a weight-loss perspective: believe it or not, though they both consumed the same quantity of calories, Person A will lose weight, while Person B will either remain the same or gain! So…clearly calorie counting can’t be your only tactic in this weight-loss war.

I know, right? Take a moment to digest…
And if you want an example that’s not hypothetical (which I’d assume you would), let’s take a study conducted by Harvard! They designed a study on calories and weight loss. They used 3 groups of people.

Group A: Fed a low-fat diet—1,500 calories for women and 1,800 calories for men
Group B: Fed a low-carb diet—1,500 calories for women and 1,800 calories for men
Group C: Fed a low-carb diet, but ate 300 more calories a day than the other groups—1,800 for women and 2,100 for men.

The results? Over 12 weeks, Group B lost the most weight!—an average of 23 pounds compared to 17 pounds Group A. (That’s six more pounds of weight loss over just 12 weeks.)

Their difference? The low-carb diet was mostly whole, unprocessed foods like lean animal protein, veggies, whole grains and beans. The low-fat group included more refined carbs.

Both groups ate the SAME # OF CALORIES, but those who ate the whole, unprocessed foods had GREATER WEIGHT LOSS.

I know! You’ve been doing it wrong, huh?

BUT WAIT! It gets better!!!! Group C ( eating 300 more calories a day with the low-carb diet) lost more weight than Group B (low fat)!!!!!!!!—even though those extra 25,000 calories they ate should have appeared as seven pounds of increased weight. They lost an average of 20 pounds (3 more than the low-fat group who ate 25,000 fewer calories during those 12 weeks)!!!!! Tell me that that didn’t just shock you!!!!

They got to EAT MORE and LOSE MORE!

YEAH! SEE!!!! I told you!!

Calorie quality is more important than calorie quantity because the type of calories you eat has an impact on how your metabolism functions. Your diet—in the quality of calories you consume—impacts what your genes tell your metabolism to do!!!!

So reach for QUALITY! Instead of grabbing something and immediately flipping it over to read the number of calories in it…
Try looking a little bit further down and checking the INGREDIENTS IN IT! Or better yet, eat stuff that doesn’t have a food label!!!!! 
 
So…to reiterate, yes there is some validity to calorie-counting, but do that WITH QUALITY FOODS!

Are we all clear on that?

Rock on 😉 …you may not proceed with your day. 

Gotta Get That Water!! …Or be fat, wrinkley, and sick? by Rikki Ferrier

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Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy.

How much water do you usually drink? Would you say you drink enough? Too little? Too much? Do you actually know how much you should or shouldn’t be drinking? The standard “8 glasses a day” was modified many times. Did you know that? So how much do you need?Have you ever wondered what the repercussions would be if you weren’t getting enough? Well…it’s actually way worse than what I realized before studying this field. So I felt the need to share the news!Our bodies are made up of 70% water, right? Many people know this, eh? But are you drinking (or getting from your foods) 7/10 water compared to what you’re getting of other things such as protein, carbs, etc? It’s truly crucial that you are. Why? …keep reading 😉

1. Water Increases Energy & Relieves Fatigue – Since your brain is mostly water, drinking it helps you think, focus and concentrate better and be more alert. As an added bonus, your energy levels are also boosted!
2.  Water Keeps You Young — Drinking plenty of water is great for your skin. If you don’t drink enough water, you’ll suffer from dry skin, and you’ll be likely to use more creams and lotions to moisturize. However, creams and lotions don’t strike at the root of the problem. Drinking plenty of water keeps your skin moisturized and reduces the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
…adorable…
3. Drinking Water Helps You Lose Weight — There’s a reason why most diets and fitness programs ask you to drink a lot of water. One of the benefits of drinking water is that it helps you lose weight.Water suppresses your appetite, so you don’t eat as much. Drinking plenty of water also prevents fluid retention, because your body won’t try to retain water if it’s getting enough.
Drinking water also helps your body burn stored fat. If you’re not drinking enough water, your liver will be forced to help your kidneys detoxify your body. When you drink plenty of water, your kidneys don’t need any extra help, so your liver will be able to metabolize stored fat more efficiently. Drinking water flushes toxins from your body and prevents constipation.
Hah!…anyway…
4. Water Boosts Immune System – A water guzzler is less likely to get sick. And who wouldn’t rather feel healthy the majority of the time? Drinking plenty of water helps fight against flu, cancer and other ailments like heart attacks.5. Water Helps You Build Muscle — Another benefit of drinking water is that it makes your muscles stronger. That’s because water carries oxygen to the cells of your body, including those of your muscles. Drinking plenty of water enables your muscles to work harder and longer before they feel tired, and this can help you build muscle.
6. Water Makes You Smarter — Drinking water can increase your cognitive function. Your brain needs a lot of oxygen in order to function at optimum levels. Drinking plenty of water ensures that your brain gets all the oxygen it needs. Drinking eight to ten cups of water per day can improve your levels of cognitive performance by as much as 30%!Drinking plenty of water also supports nerve function. It ensures that your body’s electrolyte levels remain high enough to allow your nerves to relay messages to and from the brain in the way they were meant to.
7. Natural Headache Remedy – Helps relieve and prevent headaches (migraines & back pains too!) which are commonly caused by dehydration.
So how much water do you need? There’s actually a formula that was released! Take your weight in pounds. Divide that by 2. Drink that much water in ounces.
For example: I weight 120 lbs. 120/2 = 60. I should drink a minimum of 60 ounces of water per day. Now you try 😉
I hope this was helpful! Please forward this to someone who you think will enjoy it! Support and new subscribers help to encourage me to keep writing!
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